Recipe Fridays: Southern Comfort--Chicken Pot Pie

The long, cold winters in Washington always make me miss my mama's home cooking terribly, so I've worked on some of her recipes for the past few years and am delighted to share some of my favorites that I crave on a weekly basis from November to April.

Chicken Pot Pie

Filling:

· 1 Tbsp. olive oil

· 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter

· 1 medium Onion, chopped

· 1/4 cup flour

· 2 cups chicken stock

· 2 cups chopped Roasted Chicken* (I either season and roast several drumsticks at 425 degrees for 40-45 mins and pull the meat off the bones with a fork and discard the skin, or I purchase a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store, if I feel like taking a short cut, and chop some of the breast, leg, and thigh meat, also discarding the skin, and season it)

· 1/2 cup frozen sweet petite peas

· 1 potato , diced and boiled

· 1 1/2 cup chopped, cooked carrots

· Salt

· Pepper

· Dash of Tabasco (or red pepper flakes instead)

*Scratch the chicken and add more veggies to make it vegetarian.

Crust:

· 3/4 cup white or yellow cornmeal

· 3/4 cup flour

· 1 Tbsp. baking powder (don’t use if you are using self rising flour and cornmeal)

· 2 Tbsp. sugar

· 1/2 tsp. salt

· 3/4 cup milk

· 1 large egg

· 2 Tbsp. canola oil

· 2 Tbsp. melted butter

Cooking Instructions:

To make filling: Preheat the oven to 400°. Spray a 2-quart casserole with cooking spray. In a large sauce pan, heat olive oil and unsalted butter together. Add onion and sauté until tender--4 to 5 mins. Add in flour until blended. Slowly stir in 2 cups of heated chicken stock, whisking well. Cook mixture over medium heat until it thickens and starts to bubble--about 4 mins. Stir in chicken, peas, potato, carrots. Season mixture with salt, pepper, Tabasco (or red pepper flakes), and any other seasoning that you like. Evenly spread mixture into a 2-quart casserole dish coated with cooking spray.

To make crust: In a bowl, combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. Mix oil, egg, butter, and milk together in separate bowl. Then, stir wet ingredients (milk, egg, butter, and oil) into dry ingredients. Spoon the batter evenly on top of the filling.

Bake until the top is golden brown, about 20 to 25 minutes

Make it Vegan!

Cornbread Crust:

· 1¼ cup. all purpose flour

· 1¼ cup cornmeal

· 2 tsps baking powder (do not use if you are using self-rising cornmeal and flour)

· ¼ cup white sugar

· 1½ cup soy milk

· 2 Tbsp olive oil

· ½ tsp salt

Filling:

· 2-3 Tbsp. olive oil

· 1 medium Onion , chopped

· 1/4 cup flour

· 2 cups vegetable stock

· 1/2 cup frozen sweet petite peas

· 1 potato , diced and boiled

· 1 1/2 cup chopped, cooked carrots

· 1/2 tsp. salt

· Cracked pepper

· Dash of Tobasco (or red pepper flakes instead)

· Salt

· Pepper

Follow the cooking instructions above.

I like to entertain, so I don't make dishes that serve only 1 or 2 folks usually, these recipes could easily serve 4-6, so keep that in mind. It also freezes and holds up wonderfully if you have too much leftover.

Dear Decorum: Polite Feminism?

"Dear Decorum" is an attempt to answer some of life's most challenging questions concerning everyday etiquette and how to stay cool, calm, and collected even during those most trying social situations. Deadbeat friend never have cash on hand to pay their share? We have advice for you--Stop inviting said deadbeat; they'll take the hint. Busybody neighbors all in your grill? Maintain boundaries, but it's never a good idea to completely alienate a neighbor. And so on...

You are cordially invited to send us your questions and we'll do our best to help!

Dear Pearls,

How should one behave when a new acquaintance, or friend-of-a-friend, or friend's significant other makes an inappropriate (e.g., racist, sexist, otherwise offensive) comment? I ask because the rules of traditional decorum seem to indicate one should gloss over the incident and move merrily along, preventing the evening from descending into awkwardness for everyone. Meanwhile, the rules of feminism--or at least my feminism--seem to dictate one should put that person promptly in their place. I admire the stories of Snarky's Machine berating colleagues or her doctor for racist/size-ist comments, and of Choosing Raw's Gena firmly telling the receptionist at her gym that she would not accept unsolicited comments on her body. But those situations were, it seems to me, a bit different. In each, there was some element of a professional relationship, rather than a purely social one. In professional relationships, or online one, or to strangers, I haven't hesitated to state my aversion to even mildly -ist behaviors or statements. But what about when you meet a friend's friend, at a party at your friend's house, and she says something implying, let's say, immigrants are lazy? Or you go out with a group of girls, one of whom you've never met before, and she calls someone "So Jewish" (as in cheap)? Or you meet an old friend's significant other for the first time, and he/she says something sexist? I'm not talking outright* racist or discriminatory behavior, like them calling a friend of mine a name, in which case, you can believe I'd bring the whup-ass. But I've experienced variants on each of the situations listed above, and in each case, I tried to mildly make my disagreement known, while gently moving the conversation along. What's the right thing to do in these situations? When at a social gathering, where the feelings of people you care about are at stake, how can we still stand up for what we think is right? When decorum and feminism come into conflict, which one should rule the day? (Or is there--please--a happy medium?)

Love,

Coca Colo

*I know that term is loaded, so please understand I use it to distinguish between them being in my face, versus me needing to get in their face to make a correction

Dear Coca Colo,

This is indeed a challenge that I am all too familiar with as well. You know me, so you've seen the jaws drop, heads turn, and ignorant comments fly out of folks mouths when they discover I am not their stereotype of "southern black woman" and I've shared some of this experience with the readers before. I still haven't figured out why people feel it's acceptable to comment on a. how articulate I am and/or b. how I mix "black" speech (Negro dialect, anyone?) with "talking white"? This sort of situation has ruined many a lunch, dinner, first impression of a friend's significant other for me. None of it makes sense, but luckily we live in the age of the "Teachable Moment", oh yes. So, even when the situation is personal and hurt feelings may result, my suggestion to you is that you keep doing what you're doing--you've found the "happy medium", which I think is to use these situations as opportunities to gently nudge and enlighten our peers who may just not have had the same exposure to folks of different cultural backgrounds or skin colors and welcome them into the light of the 21st century.

I totally agree with your approach to calmly state your opposition and reasoning and move the conversation forward. It is both right and polite to do so. I don't think any offense can be taken so long as you aren't gearing up for a Lincoln-Douglas style debate, which really would ruin the party. I don't think you have to choose between being true to your convictions as a justice-seeking feminist or being "nice" for the sake of saving your party from an awkward social situation. I mean, certainly, by the time the offender has made the remark things have already turned rather awkward, no? And others have noticed, it's just most aren't going to speak up. So, unless you are truly at risk of making a large, dramatic scene and it's a public event, work function, someone's wedding, etc... (you'll know when discretion is advised), then continue to speak up, as you have been. Embrace the teachable moment. Honestly, if someone is surprised by the use of the term "off the chain", they should be encouraged to expand their circle.

I try to live my life by two totally unoriginal credos. The first my mother impressed upon me from an early age: When you LEARN better, you DO better. OK, so, she got this from Oprah (yes, we are drinking the Oprah Kool-Aid), who learned it from Dr. Maya Angelou. It's a simple, but true message. Breaking down these kinds of barriers requires time and patience and it requires us all to be teachers and students of life when we are called to be so. If you know the person, then gently, saying, "I think your remark may stem from how homogeneous your background and upbringing has been. Not all gay, black, Jewish, women, etc... people can be lumped into the same stereotype...." Is usually enough to embarrass an offender into checking themselves before they wreck themselves. If you don't know the person, it may simply be enough of a ball-buster to inquire, "Do you actually feel that way or were you trying to make a joke?"

My other motto is: Truth over Harmony (as an order of my values). This one I stole from a system of prep schools in the northeast geared towards character development (reform school?), not that a good southern belle like me ever needed to attend reform school, but the message has still had meaning in my life. I've found that even if being honest makes someone upset, in the end, it's appreciated and actually strengthens friendships and bonds.

So, keep it up Colo! We are all challenged by these situations and I appreciate you bringing them to light. Each one teach one.

xo,

Pearls

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone! Is it just me, or have we put a lot of pressure on 2011 to usher in the good times? Good riddance 2010--you sure were a lousy year! In the past few days I've been surprised to find out (via my Facebook News Feed) just how angry my friends have been at 2010. And when I stop to think about it, 2010 was a whopper for me as well. Midway through the year I got Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever from attending an outdoor Dave Matthews Band Concert--I can no longer bear "Ants Marching". Following my month long antibiotic regimen, I broke my foot, leading to a six week sentence of house arrest. That wouldn't have been so bad, but did I mention it was a new house? It's a great place--it's a great arrangement, as I now get to spend 24/7 with my sweet beau, but hobbling isn't an efficient way to move and sometimes I wasn't sure if the fever was due to my illness or the agony and the ecstasy of adjusting to a new living situation--with a boy.

And then there's September, and college football season is stressful for a Bama bred girl. Defending a national championship is hard. So, my team decided not to do it...in October.

On a trip to visit Colo in November, I was sorely disappointed by so-called "soul-food" in DUMBO, but I should have known better. And in the same night, I learned I wasn't ironic enough to ever step foot in Williamsburg again.

All I needed was a little Christmas, but Uncle Boone's "Killer Bee" concoction left me a little too merry and the Snowmaggedon Part II that Washington never got made me a nervous wreck, as after Snowmaggedon Part I, I developed a crippling snow-phobia.

Man am I ever glad it's January...2011 and I (we) can put this all behind us and start fresh! I'm not a New Year's Resolution making kind of girl. Too much pressure. But, I am happy to say that I have gotten in a cardio workout 2 days in a row. Things are already looking up.

So, Welcome 2011! I've always preferred odd number years anyway!

Decorum: Be a Good Weekend Crasher

I love the flexibility that summer brings. With supervisors taking time off to go on family vacations, weekends get a lot more flexible. For instance, it's 11 am on a Friday and I am on a bus from Washington to New York. I hibernate all winter, so summer is the perfect time for me to get in all my mini-reunions. And because summer is high tourist season and hotels are pricey (especially in cities like Washington and New York) it is the perfect time for the "weekend crash". The "weekend crash" is when you call up your BFF from college and say, "Hey, what are you up to this weekend? I was thinking I'd come visit. Oh, and by the way, would it be cool if I crashed at your place?" Usually, that works just fine between friends, but after the jump are a few tips on how to be a good weekend crasher and not wear out your welcome.

Decorum: Summer Social Dining Guide

(singing) Summer-Summer-Summertime! The sweltering heat has arrived. That means I can come out of hibernation and assume a less anti-social lifestyle than I enjoy throughout the winter. I don't like the cold, but I do like the lack of awkward moments at the end of dining out with a group of friends where I realize I must now shove out cash to subsidize someone else's five-course meal when I, personally, dined as the fiscally-responsible, underpaid young adult I am. I've got some old-school tips on social dining etiquette that seem to have fallen out of fashion for some reason, but I'm doing my best to bring them back. Some of the tips after the jump will smooth awkward moments, if not prevent them, in restaurants, casual BBQs/potlucks, and formal dinner parties. Dine on, friends, but let's be "socially responsible" diners. Not to mention, let's avoid being talked about by our friends behind our backs (oh, you know you do it!).

Let’s Talk About: (In) Fidelity.

Conversational post between duchess and Pearls N the Hood. Full disclosure: both of the authors are currently in non-married monogamous relationships, but both have also been in non-monogamous relationships (which might be a strong descriptor for a few of the instances in question) in the past..

Marriage and family. The big white dress. The partner who adores your every quirk. The adorable children who are always clean, never throw tantrums in public, and astonish all adults they meet with their cute antics.

That's what women are expecting, right? Okay, not really. We all know that marriage will probably involve a lot more compromise and a far fewer picnics in the park than we might wish for. And our children, well, perhaps the best we can hope for is that they don't throw a tantrum during our sister's wedding, where we, as the matron of honor, can't leave the altar without everyone looking at our every move.

And we all know that what works in one marriage probably doesn't work in all marriages, after all, the way we live our lives definitely isn't the way our neighbors, colleagues, or even our best friends live theirs. There can be similarities, of course. But on the whole, people live their lives in ways that make sense to them at the time—not in ways that make sense to everyone else. And marriages are going to be like that too.

Of course, there are infinite questions and compromises that take place in a marriage. In this conversation, we'd like to just explore one --fidelity. What does it mean? Does it mean that once you say "I do", you have sex with your spouse and only your spouse, for the rest of your natural life? Does it mean you're each free to sleep with other people as long as you're discreet and don't bring the details home? Or does it mean something entirely different?

Decorum: Graciously Weathering (Monsoon) Wedding Season

The cherry blossoms along the Tidal Basin have come and gone, which means springtime is here…which means weddings galore. Wedding planning can certainly be an overwhelming task for the happily betrothed couple, but they aren't the only ones that could use some help. Sometimes, guests can also use pointers on how not to drown in the deluge of nuptials that is always forthcoming this time of year. I've mentioned before that I grew up in the Deep South, where we stand on ceremony and social protocol is law. I won't impose all of it on you, but since I've seen so many faux pas committed already this spring, I have some tips on how to get through wedding season with grace after the jump.

Life Skills: How to Parallel Park a Car

I hate to perpetuate the infuriating stereotype of "bad female drivers", but I'll admit that I've had trouble with parallel parking in the past. However, I am not alone. In the past 2 weeks I have witnessed over a dozen bad/failed attempts at parallel parking. It may not seem like parallel parking is a big deal. I know many people don't have to deal with it regularly. But, since I live in a metropolitan area and don't drive one of these fancy self-parking Lexuses, knowing how to parallel park on the curb is a must. So, there are some tips below the jump on perfecting that tricky S-turn next to a curb. Check out this how-to video, as well. Practice makes perfect!

Hate Duke. Love UConn?

I suspect that no one wants to hear me dote on 2010 NCAA Men's Basketball Champions the Duke Blue Devils. Duke is tired. They've won enough. No one wants me to write about how awesome it was to be in Lucas Oil Stadium Monday night. Or about how beating the hometown heroes that proceeded to yell "F#&k Duke" at me on the way to have a celebratory cocktail when all I did was smile at them was one of the highlights of my life. So, I won't talk about it. I'll just refer to the mantra I adopted for the weekend in Indy. The only thing that kept me out of a full on street brawl was this—Haters love to hate.

It's also been brought to my attention that I left the women's tournament out of a feminist blog. Even though I'm more traditional and don't watch women's basketball, that is a no-no. So, instead of talking about my intense fervor for Duke Men's basketball or how much I love Coach K & his wife Mickie or how I want to marry Nolan Smith, I'll talk about the dominant force to be reckoned with that is UConn Women's Basketball. I met a Duke B-school student from Connecticut last weekend in Indy and she taught me their unofficial state motto. In Connecticut, "Men are men. Women are Champions." You gotta love that. And that's exactly what those women are—2010 NCAA Women's Basketball Champions. And no one is surprised.

NCAA Men’s Final Four: Indianapolis Bound

What a show the boys have put on for us! The men's Final Four is imminent and will feature the #5 Butler Bulldogs vs. #5 Michigan St. Spartans and #2 West Virginia Mountaineers vs. the last surviving #1 seed, my beloved Duke Blue Devils. How we got to this Final Four, I haven't a clue.

March Madness: A Farewell to Busted Brackets

Last week, my bracket blew up--completely self-destructed. It no longer exists. BUT, my excitement about this year's NCAA men's basketball March Madness has reached MANIA! This tournament has been seriously schizophrenic, with the most unpredictable opening rounds of the NCAA men's basketball tournament I've seen in a long time and I'll tell you why....

Tiger Pays (another insincere apology) to Play.

Can this be over already? I'll admit that I have, like many others, become overly interested in the Tiger Woods scandal. While I can appreciate that the man is a skilled golfer, I tend to root for the underdog. So, I usually end up rooting against Tiger on the course. Despite my indifference towards the man as a golfer, I can't shake my curiosity about Tiger the man, the son, the husband, the father—mainly because it has been thrown in my face by the media everyday for the past several months. In my opinion, Tiger Woods is the ultimate "Two Face". Seriously, once again on Sunday night, Tiger Woods stood before a camera and recited, basically the exact same speech he gave us last month when he took just enough time out of sex addiction rehab to stand before the media and chastise it for being in his and his family's business. Now, that he's decided to play in the Masters in April, I guess he just wanted to remind us in that robotic, stoic, and unconvincing way that he performs so well that he is sorry he let us down.

Healthcare Reform? Yes, we can!

The pundits said health care was dead. I almost believed them, but at zero-hour President Obama stepped in and took the reins, making it possible for our representatives to pass historic legislation that will start to reform the way health care is accessed and delivered in the US over the next few years. The health care reform bill passed with 219 Democratic votes and not a single Republican vote. This legislation is the most revolutionary health care legislation to pass since Medicare started, and the Republicans didn't want any part of it. Even after we were forced to suffer 6+ hrs of political theater dubbed a "health care summit" last month, where President Obama begged GOP leaders to give him any response other than "No.", they still wanted nothing to do with it. To be completely fair, neither did 39 conservative Democrats. But, despite the naysayers, I believe in this bill and I hope you do too. I don't believe in this bill because I think it is perfect. It is far from it. My ideal health care reform is a single payer system—perhaps, Medicare for all. This bill still leaves some 10-15 million folks who may want/need health insurance out. I don't believe in this bill because it is in accordance with my particular moral values. In my opinion, abortion is a private and individual issue. I won't pretend to understand what someone considering abortion for any reason is going through and I won't judge their values. I don't believe in this bill because it's comprehensive, because really, it's mostly a health insurance reform bill, and there are many other facets to the US health care delivery system untouched by this bill. However, it is crucial that we take steps towards fixing our expensive, broken, and unjust system. It is undeniable that skyrocketing health care costs are unsustainable. I believe in this bill because each and every step we can take to ensure and insure the health and wealth of our country, the better off society will be. And the provisions in this bill, which is now set to become law, are a big leap toward making that possible. I believe in this bill because, as Speaker Pelosi said, "all politics is personal." And health care is deeply personal. And this bill reaches Americans on a personal level. This bill does what is right for the American people. Here are some highlights, (see chart below for more details):

March Madness: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Question: What do the NCAA tournament and flip-flops have in common?

Answer: NO HEELS!

Okay, that was a cheap shot, but I bleed Duke blue, so naturally, the NCAA Men’s tournament is one of my holy seasons. There’s a lot of commotion over this year’s picks for the Big Dance. Folks whining over Virginia Tech not getting invited; haters saying that Duke is in the easiest bracket (well, they say that every year, though we really may have gotten the best draw this year); people crying that Kansas, the number one seed overall, is in the toughest bracket—alright, so now they can prove that they deserve it. I don’t get all of the brouhaha out there, but I do have a few personal considerations as I’m filling out my bracket and calling busters that will ensure I take the whole pot home this year—no more splitsies!! Here’s my list, what’s on yours?

Kelly Cutrone: Bringing the Power of the “Ancient Feminine” Back

I just finished reading Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside and Other Things Your Mother Never Told You and was pleasantly surprised by how inspiring and motivating her coming of age and rise to power story is. Expecting this to be the wanna-be PR girl’s handbook, I was also surprised by how universal her message is. Kelly Cutrone is the founder of fashion public relations, branding and marketing company People’s Revolution. You may have seen her using her tongue as a lethal weapon doling out brutal truths to employees and clients and pulling rank on a number of sobbing interns on shows like The Hills, The City or her new Bravo series Kell on Earth. Cutrone is the leader of the New York PR power-girl pack and serves as “Mama Wolf” over all twenty-something fashion girls who dream of one day rubbing elbows backstage with the likes of Jeremy Scott or Vivienne Westwood. If You Have to Cry…is her no-bullshit how-to guide to making it in New York’s crushing and soul-stealing fashion publicity world. I’m not a fashionista, nor am I looking for a New York Fashion Week internship. I’m just a health policy consultant with a reality-TV addiction who has found Cutrone interesting since first seeing her mentor Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad on The Hills. I wanted a little insight into her and her industry. I also thought “this woman is completely balls-out crazy on TV—she must have an interesting story to tell and I sure need some entertainment on this long-ass bus ride I’m about to take!” Six hours and 197 pages later I had laughed, cried, furiously scribbled notes in the margins, and had recalculated an old resolve.

Pearls N the Hood in the City: Maiden and South

Last weekend my beau and I boarded a DC 2 NY New York City bound bus. I love visiting New York! To me, New York has always represented freedom, attitude, and style. In New York it’s O.K. not to give a damn. It’s O.K. to be exactly who you are. It’s O.K. to be exactly who you want to be. I know I’d never have to courage to actually live there, but I feel daring enough just dressing up in my designer labels and stilettos and heading downtown to hit the clubs—it’s definitely not a Nashville party! I even dared to make my first venture to Harlem c/o my girl, Coca CoLo, who took me to eat the best soul food I’ve had north of the Mason Dixon, nay, north of my mama’s kitchen. I felt a little uncomfortable standing at the corner of 116^th and Malcom X, but not as uncomfortable as stumbling upon Maiden Lane and South Street. Yes, a real intersection and one that got me thinking. As I wound through the financial district with my fantastic boyfriend, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was fate that had led me here. I mean, my relationship is pretty great, but sometimes life sends you signs. And at this point my only options were literally to continue along on Maiden Lane or veer left at South Street. Ay mi!

Whacky 2010 Olympic Winter Games? Blame Canada!

I have never really been too enthusiastic about the Olympic winter games. I like the ice skating, but never really understood why someone would want to race down a snowy mountain at the speed of light or hurl themselves off a ramp to tumble through the air at dangerous heights. It has always seemed more like daredevil stuff more than sport to me, but these 2010 games have had my attention like no other. The only explanation I can come up with for the controversy, drama and excitement is Canada, so I blame them. Here are some of my personal favorite highlights, some whacky, some awesome.

Obama Takes Reigns on Health Care (Sigh of Relief)

Here he comes to save the day....In preparation for the showdown with the GOP Thursday, President Obama finally did what I know I’ve been waiting on for so long now—he showed us his hand and defined “Obamacare” for the people. I can’t believe it had to come to this. We are down to the wire. I mean, I was panicking. It seemed to me like health care reform was dead. All signs pointed to failure: President Obama barely mentioned it in the State of the Union, the Dems lost the supermajority to Scott Brown, other Dems dropped out like flies..I just didn’t know if it could be done. But The President’s Proposal sends a big signal that we are not giving up on change, reform, and maybe even a bipartisan effort. Read on for a breakdown of the what I found to be the highlights of the President's Proposal and how they compare to the House and Senate bills. President Obama and company seem to have built a bridge between the House and Senate efforts and even added some stronger provisions to ensure accountability of insurance companies and protect consumers from some of their most ridiculous policies.

Tiger Woods Is Sorry Y’all. Elin Woods Says Prove It. I’m Incredulous.

Tiger Woods read an 11 minute heartfelt and at times angry and chastising apology to the world this morning. I’m a little over this whole mess. I can’t imagine what this man was thinking as he was cheating with more than a dozen women. Don’t we all know by now that TMZ, The National Enquirer, or real news is relentless until they expose you for the lying, cheating jackass you are?!!! In my opinion, the statement was worthless. He admitted to feeling a sense of entitlement because of his success and riches. He claims that his straying away from the Buddhist teachings his mother instilled in him since he was a child led to his engorged sense of ego, selfishness, and eventual fall. He apologized to the fans and the kids that considered him a role model. All of which would have seemed more sincere if he hadn’t had to pause and look down at his script so often, but I guess with such a long list to make amends for, it really couldn’t and shouldn’t have been an off the cuff statement.

Decorum: Stay Classy This Snowpocalypse

Last week’s snowpocalypse produced snow in Alabama, Dallas, record snowfall in Washington, and practically paralyzed the airline industry. As a child growing up in the South, the fluffy white stuff used to provoke images of magic and cheer (even the threat of snow can trigger premature calls of snow days), but has now become a menace and a hassle. Olympic curling may make slipping and sliding on the ice look fun, but arriving at your destination with cold, wet feet pretty much sucks. My snow woes list could go as high as the 4 foot piles along DC streets, but despite all this misery let’s be patient and classy while we thaw. As we are expecting more snow, here are some tips on how to mind your p’s and q’s and get through snowpocalypse with grace and poise: