Get Informed December 6: 10 News Stories you might have missed

If you get your news from Fox commentary, NYTimes opinion pages, satirical news comedy, or anywhere on cnn.com, then you might be missing a lot of big important stories! Here's a few I've culled from the back pages of leading news organizations. An informed citizenry may be important for democracy, after all ;-)

1. Pakistan police officers to be arrested over death of Benazir Bhutto, after destroying the crime scene less than two hours after her murder.
2. European nations agree on offshore North Sea electric grid to deliver wind power across the continent.
3. ACLU obtains documents showing the government routinely violates the law in spying on US citizens, although they did not find any evidence that the violation is intentional.
4. New Meningitis vaccine may end African epidemics - see, not all the news is bad news!
5. Rising CO2 levels cause ocean acidification, threaten marine life
6. The Brazilian army is policing Rio de Janeiro slums in the country's first domestic peacekeeping mission.
7. Lawsuit challenges history-sniffing, a practice where websites build a profile of visitors based on sites they had visited in the past (without permission, naturally).
8. Renewed violence prompts concern in Central African Republic, threatening the withdrawal of UN peacekeepers from the region and CAR's upcoming election.
9. State budget cuts put law enforcement on front line of mental care, as clinics that treat the mentally ill close nationwide.
10. Italian actress-turned-minister is making progress in the fight against sexism in a country of extreme double standards. I wanted to end on a positive note!

Femonomics at the Movies: The Next Three Days

 The Next Three Days is an action-suspense movie that follows John Brennan (Russell Crowe) as he plans his wrongfully convicted wife Lara's (Elizabeth Banks) escape from prison. The film takes place in Pittsburgh, and has a long windup as we watch John plot the breakout while simultaneously raising a young son and teaching at a community college.

The Viewer's Angle
The film is very well written and tightly paced, competently following the heist / escape plotline that we've heard before. John's tricks and turns are clever, and it is fun to watch him execute his plan. However, the performances fall rather flat, and a cameo by Liam Neeson only served to remind me how much more engaging similar material is in his hands. A lack of convincing chemistry between the leads, along with limited backstory on their characters, made it difficult to care if they succeeded. If anything, having to wait through the buildup, the main reason I wanted the escape to work was so I could see the payoff of all the planning. Extraneous characters to the story, a brother and sister-in-law, way more detectives than called for, and the most beautiful playground mom ever seen, end up prematurely diffusing some of the tension, which I find critical in a low-explosion film. Overall, a bit of a disappointment, and I'm probably going to check out Unstoppable this weekend to get my action itch scratched.

Get Informed November 26: 10 news stories you might have missed

If you get your news from Fox commentary, NYTimes opinion pages, satirical news comedy, or anywhere on cnn.com, then you might be missing a lot of big important stories! Here's a few I've culled from the back pages of leading news organizations. An informed citizenry may be important for democracy, after all ;-)

1. US sets aside 'critical habitat' for polar bear in Alaska: 187,000 square miles of good news!
2. Obama outlines plan to defeat LRA in Uganda. No boots on the ground, but the US will partner to put these scumbags who use child soldiers out of business.
3. Despite China's open trade with Africa, tensions with African immigrants remain
4. BP's oil spill bill could be much less than expected, as many of the fisherman's claims were submitted with insufficient documentation and will be rejected.
5. Study finds no progress in safety in hospitals, with patient deaths from complications or infections steady between 2002 and 2007. The study was limited to 10 North Carolina hospitals.
6. Russia's proposal to unite missile defense systems rebuffed by NATO
7. Use of contractors added to Iraq War's chaos. Though they are much less effective than actual troops, look for the use of contractors to increase as US pulls out of Afghanistan. Wikileaks' documents detail a plethora of problems.
8. DHS panel on at-risk chemical plants is stacked with industry lobbyists who push for weaker standards and more lax security requirements! But you will have to get naked or get groped to get on a plane, because that makes us safer...
9. China is financing a $6 billion expansion of oil refinery in Cuba, expanding the country's influence in Latin America and increasing energy security.
10. Food insecurity continues to plague North Korea.

The Very Best Podcasts on iTunes

This post seems to have gotten a lot of traffic from Google, so I'm going to keep updating it as I find more excellent podcasts. Leave your finds in the comments!

I am not the biggest fan of exercise, primarily because I find it boring (I climb stairs, go for walks, or use the elliptical or erg machines), and my boredom draws attention to the fact that exercise is less comfortable than sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching The Dog Whisperer. But I believe exercise is important, so I combat the boredom with podcasts. The following podcasts are so good, I go to the gym just to be able to completely focus on them.

Get Informed November 20: 10 news stories you might have missed

If you get your news from Fox commentary, NYTimes opinion pages, satirical news comedy, or anywhere on cnn.com, then you might be missing a lot of big important stories! Here's a few I've culled from the back pages of leading news organizations. An informed citizenry may be important for democracy, after all ;-)

1. Dialysis treatment centers mismanaged by giant corporations: ProPublica investigates a publicly-financed system that is extremely profitable for the providers, but which costs more per patient with shamefully bad health outcomes when compared to other developed countries.
2. Vatican to issue guidelines on sex abuse, victims groups are unimpressed and some church leaders are still discounting the severity of the situation.
3. Senate approves settlement for underpaid aid to black farmers and mismanaged Native American trusts. Unanimously!
4. Ireland is said to discuss bailout of nearly $70 billion, in order to counteract dual problems of a crippled banking sector and the nation's tremendous government debt.
5. A GAO report to Congress explains that raising the minimum retirement age would disproportionately impact the poor and minorities, who often cite health problems as the primary reason for leaving the workforce.
6. BP may face new penalties over an Alaskan oil spill in 2006.
7. Private-army phenomenon exacerbates African conflicts, UN says. Mercenaries, not a great thing? Who knew!
8. Senate moves ahead on food safety bill that would give FDA new powers, shifting more liability to producers and giving the FDA recall power.
9. Der Spiegel profiles Turkmenistan, and details superpowers efforts to court central Asian nations for access to energy resources and military base real estate.
10. APEC countries agree to launch massive new free trade zone, linking the region more closely with the US, China, and Japan.

Law & Order & Prison Rape

For reasons that defy explanation, I have spent a significant amount of time in the past couple of weeks watching episode of Law & Order: SVU. For those of you who have not watched television in the past decade, the show follows a fictional team of detectives, medical, and legal staff responsible for investigating sexual crimes in New York City. It is highly formulaic but well acted, with a strong sense of morality coursing through each episode. Because this show is so sensitive to issues surrounding sexual assault and victims' rights, I was very surprised that in many of the episodes the detectives crack rape jokes!

No way! Not possible! You'd think this would be egregious behavior for officers (even fictional) that are charged with investigating sexual crimes. But apparently it's acceptable (on TV) because the potential victims are the criminals that have been charged with the episode's crime and are entering prison.

Get Informed November 10: 10 news stories you might have missed

I'm thinking of making this into a regular feature. Let me know what you think; at least it keeps me reading the news! -Mongoose

If you get your news from Fox commentary, NYTimes opinion pages, satirical news comedy, or anywhere on cnn.com, then you might be missing a lot of big important stories! Here's a few I've culled from the back pages of leading news organizations. An informed citizenry may be important for democracy, after all ;-)

1. Obama backs India's quest for a permanent seat on the UN Security Council. The president acknowledge that India was already a major global power, and criticized the country's relatively isolationist stance thus far.
2. Oil and food industry groups are challenging the EPA on ethanol in gasoline. Raising the allowable amount from 10% to 15% may drive up food prices and cause damage to engines.
3. New report claims 100 tigers are being poached annually, a significant loss in a global population of around 3,500. :-(
4. Polio outbreak in the Congo Republic, the government plans on vaccinating the entire population orally.
5. Secretary Clinton announces US-Australia talks on rare earth metals supply. China currently has a near monopoly on the market for these critical components to electronics and military systems.
6. Executives of for-profit colleges are receiving huge bonuses. Compensation for the C-suite at these schools is in some cases more than 20 times what the highest paid traditional university president gets!
7. Hardly any white Southern Democrats remain in office following last week's midterm elections. Only one white Democrat congressperson remains in deep South states of LA, MS, GA, AL, and SC.
8. School nutrition bill could be revived in Congress. The bill passed the Senate earlier this year and may now pass Congress after two representatives have dropped opposition to using food stamp funding.
9. The White House altered drilling ban report, overstating scientific and expert support.
10. Sarkozy accused of using French intelligence to spy on journalists; the opposition party is demanding an investigation.

Get Informed November 7: 10 news stories you might have missed

If you get your news from Fox commentary, NYTimes opinion pages, satirical news comedy, or anywhere on cnn.com, then you might be missing a lot of big important stories! Here's a few I've culled from the back pages of leading news organizations. An informed citizenry may be important for democracy, after all ;-)

1. Mexico drugs cartel suspects arrested in Atlanta area: Agents arrest 45 members of La Familia Michoacana and seize $10 million worth of meth, cocaine, and pot.
2. Hurricane Tomas sweeps through Haiti, with severe wind and rain battering earthquake refugees still living in insubstantial tents.
3. Dead coral found near site of BP oil spill: Scientists begin to find more acute and long-term ecosystem effects from this summer's disaster.
4. Wal-Mart hopes to move into Africa with takeover bid: The retailer is acquiring South African chain Massmart.
5. The Supreme Court hears a case on the constitutionality of tax credits for private religious schools: Interestingly, the matter seems to turn on whether a tax credit is money that "belongs" to the government or not. Also, Elena Kagan weighs in!
6. 600+ Women were raped along the Congo-Angola border: The UN is asking the two countries to investigate.
7. Russia upholds freedom of assembly; Journalist brutally beaten in connection with his work: One step forward and two steps back?
8. GOP seeks to cut pay for renewed jobless benefits: Republicans may refuse to pass extension of unemployment benefits unless the impact on the federal deficit can be lessened. Merry Christmas guys!
9. Mood is grim as Myanmar heads to elections: Both choices are pro-military, pro-democracy party refuses to participate, outside media and observers are being barred, results are unlikely to be legitimate.
10. US involvement in Yemen edging toward "clandestine war": President Obama is said to be considering CIA covert operations in the country supplemented by unmanned drone strikes.

Be a Feminist and Vote this Tuesday!!

It would be hard not to know, with the incessant pleas and accusations of campaigning politicians across all forms of media these past few days, but this Tuesday, November 2nd, is Election Day! This is our opportunity for civic engagement, to hold government accountable, and feel smugly superior for the low cost of standing in line and exercising the right to vote! There is usually even some free coffee, and very nice volunteers to usher you through the process pain-free.

First of all, you must be registered to vote. Usually this has to be done at least a month before Election Day, but this varies from state to state. In Georgia, I was registered when I got my driver's license, so that was super convenient.

To figure out who all of the eligible candidates are, I started by Googling "Georgia election commission." This type of search will generally lead to your state's Secretary of State office, which is responsible for overseeing elections. If your state is up-to-speed on internet technology, you should be able to learn where your polling place is, which districts you can vote for, what all of the open seats are, and even have links to the candidates' campaign websites.

There should be a sample ballot available online, which you can print out to mark down your choices. It can be hard to remember what you researched when there are a lot of candidates and issues, so I recommend working through this ballot or taking a cheat sheet in with you.

What You'll Need

• Form of identification
• Sample ballot or cheat sheet (optional)
• Patience (occasionally the lines are long)

What You'll Get

• A voice in the political process
• Sense of satisfaction for doing the right thing
• Complaining rights if the other guy wins
• Coffee, and maybe even donuts (if you're lucky)

Remind your friends, family, and coworkers to get out to their polling places on Tuesday!

How to pick up chicks: A reasonably informed response to pick-up artist guides

It is really hard to meet men I want to date. I hear that men also have trouble meeting women. (I smell an arbitrage opportunity here!) Hence, the abundance of guides on "picking up women" all over the internet. Some of these guides have really disrespectful attitude towards women, which makes me wonder about their true intent and efficacy. So, here are some of my tips for sparking a woman's interest - all should also work with men!

1. Ask - and remember - her name. This is really simple, but is an easy way to show respect and interest. If names give you trouble, try repeating it right after she tells you (i.e., "It's nice to meet you, Rachel"), and repeat it a couple of times in your head.
2. Actively listen to what she's saying and ask appropriate questions. People love talking about themselves, and feel extra special when someone is really engaging with what they're saying. Don't use her conversation as a way to change the subject to yourself. When I recently told a guy in a bar that I liked books, he used this as a way to start talking for 15 minutes about his own collection, which was not particularly endearing. A smoother dude would have asked me more about what I liked to read, or maybe the most recent book I had purchased.
3. Make eye contact, but not too much. The main thing here is not to stare at the woman's rack while you're talking - it really bothers most of the women I know. However, don't lock eyes too intensely either. If she's backing away, fidgeting a lot, or keeps looking away, you are probably being a little too strong. Eye contact, look away, eye contact, glance away, etc.
4. Don't swear profusely, say bigoted things, or indulge in excessive vulgarity. Dropping F-bombs is not going to impress anyone, and being sexist, racist, or homophobic will not score you any points. This is your first conversation with this person, so put your best foot forward.
5. No negging. Negging is a common pickup artist tip where you catch a woman's interest by insulting her. Don't do this - it's stupid, rude, and makes you look like an inconsiderate jerk. Compliments are totally the way to go. You already know this to be true, so just trust your instincts. Anecdotes of successful negging are just that - rare stories. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
6. Make her feel great. This is your antidote to negging - instead, give her a nice compliment, laugh at her jokes, take interest in her conversation, use her name, buy her a drink. This is a classic sales strategy and common sense: everybody loves a charmer.
7. Accept no as an answer. Don't be too persistent, and allow her an easy escape from the conversation. If she's not interested in you, it behooves you to be as polite as possible and not make her uncomfortable. Not only is this the right thing to do (harassment is bad!), she might also have friends with her who might be more receptive to your advances. If this sounds like bad advice, read this harsh piece about too-persistent men. Don't be that guy!
8. Follow up with a call. If the stars align and you get her number:
1. Call when you promised or within three days.
2. Call once, leave a voicemail. This is really important - calling half a dozen times is inappropriate. Just leave a voicemail with your name, a reference to where you met so she can remember the context, and your number.
3. If she doesn't return your call, try again, but only once. (See #6 for rationale.)
9. Ask her out on a date. In a world of online dating and a hookup culture, it seems that people are increasingly afraid of the face-to-face rejection inherent in dating. Rejection is a normal part of the dating process, and picking yourself up and moving on is a big part of improving your game.While Match.com and hookups can be great, a dinner date is a really good way to get to know someone through a relatively sober and private conversation. It sounds intimidating but there's nothing to be scared of - and it gets much easier with practice!

These might seem really simple, but I've seen so many men (and women!) blow their chances by messing up on common courtesy. Any more basic tips out there for meeting people?

Femonomics reads the internet so you don't have to: Eminem's Love the Way You Lie

You may have heard that Eminem and Rihanna have come out with a new music video of "Love the Way You Lie." This has generated a lot of buzz, and in some cases controversy, for it's depiction of domestic violence. The video portrays a complex relationship where the abusers aren't completely unsympathetic and the victims are not faultless human beings - in other words it's a lot like real life! Some people are arguing that the video makes violence look sexy, which would be a not-so-great message. Others note that the message seems to be that violence is not a choice, but more like a natural disaster, over which no one (not even the abuser) has any control. This discussion is complicated by the fact that both singers have lived through abusive relationships, Rihanna having been violently assaulted by her then-boyfriend last year and Eminem having been both a perpetrator and receiver of abuse in past relationships. Also, the whole dialog is taking place on the internet, so decency and politeness is at a minimum.

Here's the video. It is not similarly offensive to Eminem's other work, but there is somewhat graphic violence and swearing.


I have to admit, I like the duet, the rhythm, and (so help me) the obvious rhymes. My primary takeaway is that this is not being portrayed as a desirable relationship, but rather as a cautionary tale. And not to equate Eminem with the great playwright in terms of art, but couldn't the same charge of romanticizing violence and death be leveled at Romeo & Juliet? I can see however, where people are misinterpreting this as glorifying (and sexifying) domestic violence. The actors playing the couple are Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox, both of whom are really, extraordinarily gorgeous. These two would look smoking hot at a pie-eating contest - even though pie eating contests are completely gross! Monaghan gave an interview where he explained the intention in creating the video was to both give a believable portrayal of violent relationships, and to send a strong anti-violence message.

Recipe Fridays: The Best of Jamie Oliver (so far)

I have to admit, that my first introduction to the work of Jamie Oliver was here at Femonomics, when we reviewed his new show Food Revolution. Since then, I've been DVR'ing episodes of Jamie at Home, and have checked out his books from the library. I think I might be in love. Not only are his recipes exactly the kind of think I like to eat, they are "dead simple" and really impressive. A few of my favorites so far:

English Onion Soup - like the traditional French, but with as many kinds of onions you can get your hands on.

Proper Chicken Ceasar Salad - cooking the croutons underneath the chicken, and later bacon, makes them ridiculously delicious.

Zucchini Carbonara - this is a little trickier, and requires a lot of prep time (for me), but is super tasty and massively impressed a colleague I cooked it for.

A couple of notes, Jamie adds red pepper and pours olive oil on top of everything. There's no need to replicate that, it's just his tic. He also uses really expensive ingredients - organic, local, the highest quality. That's all well and good for a multi-millionaire, but I just do the best I can. In most cases, you can get by with whatever's in the grocery store.

How to respond when senior coworkers are sexist jerks

This week the feminist blogosphere has been buzzing about a Slate advice columnist's response to the following letter from a woman working in a law firm for the summer:

I am a female law student who is employed for the summer (and potentially for the school year) at a small firm that I'm really enjoying. The law office shares a floor of an office building with a bigger law firm, and my cubicle is "on the border." All of the attorneys at both firms are male, but at the other firm, the men are far from politically correct. I have two issues: First, one of the attorneys, "Jerry," often makes comments to me about my appearance. These range from annoying but harmless ("Nice tan") to creepy ("I like that skirt," in a lecherous tone). I have tried to ignore him or subtly indicate his comments aren't welcome, but neither approach has worked. I'm tempted to speak to one of my firm's partners, but I fear it would make me look like a little girl running to a man to fight my battles. I'm also considering documenting all his comments until I have enough for a sexual harassment suit so I can make his firm pay for the legal education I used to nail it. Second, I overhear a lot of conversations I find highly offensive. The men are fond of using homosexuality-based insults, calling one another or opponents "fag" and "homo." The work environment is becoming so unpleasant that I wonder how long I can stand it. What should I do?

The response is basically to (a) confront Jerry directly, (b) chill out about the homophobic bigots next door, and (c) not to be so eager to sue, it won't win her a lot of points. Jezebel has a good summary of responses to this column, including why this advice is not really so great, especially since it lacks the broader context of entrenched sexism in some law firms.

But what DO you do when coworkers, especially those above you on the office hierarchy, say bigoted or offensive things? It's a tough dilemma for many in the workplace, as calling out unacceptable behavior can decrease your own political / social capital. I find this particularly challenging, since I want to live my values and advance progressive causes, but find myself uncomfortable saying anything that makes waves. One Jezebel commenter had some advice that I particularly liked:

Here's what I did in a similar situation: I went to the partner that I felt would be the most receptive. I started the discussion with how much I liked my job and the firm, and how I hoped to work there for many years to come. I talked about being a team player and wanting the best for the firm (bosses eat that shit up). Then, I mentioned overhearing some of the male attorneys saying inappropriate things in front of the clerks and secretaries, and how bad it would be for all of us if these women sued the firm. Because I was looking out for the firm. -SheelaNaGig

So, being strategic with how you deliver the message can help. I haven't read the whole thing, but this free manual from The Southern Poverty Law center on responding to everyday bigotry has a lot of good ideas. It even gives sample conversations, which I think is really helpful (nothing like a script to make you feel more confident!) Do you have any strategies for confronting workplace sexism / racism / homophobia?

Femonomics at the Movies: Salt

I'm a little late to the game on this one - it's been a week since I've seen Salt and everyone has already written about it! Easily the most anticipated movie of the year (for this mongoose, at least), the picture is Angelina Jolie's return to a starring role in an action flick (Jolie plays the eponymous Salt). I enjoyed Tomb Raider, and was a big fan of Mr and Mrs Smith - the movie that launched an entire tabloid industry. So, was I disappointed?

The Viewer's Angle

In short, no - but neither was I elated. Salt is an unrelenting action film - not an action-comedy, action-romance, or even action-drama. The basic plot is a chase, with the FBI chasing Salt, and Salt chasing a mysterious group of bad guys to which she might belong. I have to agree with David Edelstein's review that "the movie is a blast, even though - and this might be a deal-breaker for some people - it makes no sense, at all!"

Elle magazine has some pretty creepy guy friends...

"When I walk the streets on a sunny summer day and the women are out, wearing spaghetti-strap tops and short skirts, their legs bare, the internal monologue starts. The voice in my head, by the way, sounds like Barry White's. Oh yeah. Oh, you like that, right? You mean you want it in there? Oh, yeah."

This was the point in Elle's most recent ElleReaderMen feature where I started to feel a little bit creeped. Typically I enjoy reading through this fairly intellectual fashion magazine, though I tend to disagree with a lot of the editorial content. This particular author is an anonymous man who is informing us on "the sexual fantasy life of men." He expands the experiences and feelings of him and three friends to all of men, but I'm pretty unconvinced. I can imagine a plurality of teenage boys perhaps being so obsessive and objectifying, but that seems pretty unfair as well. A few more samples, to give you a sense of Anonymous's piece:

"...I realized it's not entirely about seeing exposed flesh, however; it's about clothes - shorts, miniskirts - that seem so easily pulled aside for quick access. It's the feeling that I - a perfect stranger - could have this beautiful woman topless in a fraction of a second...and be kissing her bare breast, a sensation hat would feel so good she would be powerless to resist..." [emphasis mine]

Jumping to Conclusions: Disease Burden and "Intelligence"

Last week, The Economist publicized some research by Christopher Eppig, a graduate student at the University of New Mexico. Eppig's research posits that the relationship between national disease burden and national IQ scores is causal, and that this decreased IQ level is thus a symptom, and not a cause, of underdevelopment in countries that lack health and hygiene infrastructures. The Economist summarizes how
Eppig and company reached their conclusion of causation (emphasis mine):

The correlation is about 67%, and the chance that it might have come about at random is less than one in 10,000. But correlation is not causation, so Mr Eppig and his colleagues tried to eliminate other possible explanations. Previous work has offered income, education, low levels of agricultural labour (which is replaced by more mentally stimulating jobs), climate (the challenge of surviving cold weather might provoke the evolution of intelligence) and even distance from humanity’s African homeland (novel environments could encourage greater intelligence) as explanations for national differences in IQ. However, all of these, except perhaps the last, are also likely to be linked to disease and, by careful statistical analysis, Mr Eppig and his colleagues show that all of them either disappear or are reduced to a small effect when the consequences of disease are taken into account.

Wow! They accounted for a lot of different stuff there! Do you think they accounted for every possible confounding factor? (Not possible!) It's also certain that the previous work they rely on included major ambiguities and assumptions in itself. And did you notice that the authors included distance from Africa as a cause for increased intelligence? It's like magic! Or really crappy analysis. I expected them to throw in craniometry as a potential confounding factor for good measure.

Now, a longstanding complaint of mine is that The Economist doesn't rigorously source articles, making it difficult for readers to go back to the studies and decide for themselves. Sometimes (oftentimes?) journalists don't understand a correct / responsible way to interpret data. So here's the full text of Eppig's article as published in Proceedings of the Royal Society.

First of all, I take issue with the scientific measurement of intelligence on such a broad, multi-cultural scale. Like love, joy, or pain, intelligence is something that is really difficult to define. And like, IQ tests, how bullshitty are those? Perhaps it is true that intelligence would vary on a national level - but I suspect that you would find even greater variance in definitions of intelligence across cultures. Even within our own culture, how would you describe a star mathematician, brilliant actor, and shrewd politician in a way that classified them all as equally intelligent.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - in which Mongoose returns to genre fiction

It has been years since I have read any genre fiction: crime, action, Star Wars (I was once a teen, too), fantasy, etc. This was a conscious choice, so I didn't expect much from Stieg Larsson's famous crime novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. But it came heavily recommended by my mom and a good friend, so I picked it up. And didn't put it down except to sleep and go to work for the next three days. It is truly riveting. This weekend, I bought the second in the trilogy, The Girl Who Played with Fire, and similarly finished it within 48 hours. If you have ever enjoyed a mystery novel, you have got to read these. I would go buy the third and final book (The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest), but it's only available in hardcover, and I have shit to do this week.

The trilogy, an "international publishing sensation," comes with its own dramatic backstory. Larsson died of a massive heart attack at age 50 in 2004 before the sales of the first book really took off - without a valid will. He had never married his partner of more than three decades, Eva Gabrielsson, and according to Swedish law his property went to his father and brother after his death, including rights to his three novels. Gabrielsson allegedly has the partial manuscript of fourth on her laptop. The court battles continue to rage.

The purse: A gender roles enigma

This weekend I went shopping for a new bag, and found exactly what I wanted (an uncommon occurrence at the mall!). Not only that, but it was on sale (70% off)! I almost never shop for bags, and it struck me that I was engaging in one of those stereotypical feminine rituals, and that I had derived a lot of pleasure from it. Which led me to another thought: why don't men get to carry bags over their shoulders?!?

Common arguments for carrying a purse / bag:

• It's useful - you can carry all your stuff with you without having to sit on it
• It can be stylish
• It can be a status symbol

Common arguments against carrying a purse / bag:

• It's not manly. (See informative beer commercial below)

See! Beer is manly! Purses are not! Why, you ask? Because! Purses sometimes have fringes, or rhinestones, or are made of fancy faux leather - inherently feminine stuff! But wait...

Debbe's Chocolate Bars

A family friend, Debbe, always made these for me when I visited home from college, and I've made them to great acclaim for my friends. Be forewarned - this is a large recipe of very rich treats, but they are completely delicious!

Ingredients

3/4 cup butter or margarine

1-1/2 cups sugar

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1-1/3 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons baking cocoa

4 cups miniature marshmallows

1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional: I never use them)

Topping

1-1/3 cups (8 ounces) chocolate chips

3 tablespoons butter or margarine

1 cup peanut butter

2 cups rice krispies

Directions

In mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla, beat until fluffy. Combine flour, baking powder, salt and cocoa in a separate bowl and add to creamed mixture. Stir in nuts if desired. Spread in a greased jelly roll pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 18 minutes. Sprinkle marshmallows evenly over cake, return to oven for 2 to 3 minutes. Using a knife dipped in water, spread the melted marshmallows evenly over the cake. Cool.

For topping, combine chocolate chips, butter, peanut butter in a small saucepan. Cook over low heat stirring constantly until melted and well blended. Remove from heat and add rice krispies, mix and spread over bars. Chill thoroughly before cutting into bars. Keep refrigerated.

Makes 3 dozen.

Life Skills: Giving actionable feedback

Giving a colleague, roommate, or partner feedback is difficult. No one likes to be criticized. However, actionable feedback (i.e., constructive criticism or praise, AKA communication) is key to healthy working - and interpersonal - relationships. Here are some tips to delivering feedback in the most painless, useful form.

1. Begin with the positive. People tend to focus on the negative, especially when they hear it from someone they wish to please, so it's even more important for you to emphasize the positive to avoid your small critique getting blown out of proportion. If people feel too threatened by the feedback they're getting, it's hard for them to absorb it. This is most important when you are just starting to give feedback - eventually you may develop an environment of continuous feedback, and people will welcome any input.
2. Be specific. Give specific examples of the behavior in question. It may have made a strong impression on you, but the person receiving feedback may not have noticed anything unusual. However, don't let examples distract from your core point--people sometimes respond to examples by giving excuses for that specific instance. You can say, "This is one example that shows the behavior I mentioned, but I've noticed it other times."
3. Make it actionable - suggest a future course of action.
4. Remember to give positive feedback as well! If you like what someone is doing, let them know so that they keep doing it.
5. Forgive and forget. Or as the great Jimmy Buffett would say, "breathe in, breathe out, move on!" This is good advice if you're giving feedback (don't bring up something repeatedly if you've already let the other person know of the issue, unless they don't make an effort to change), but even better if you're getting it! All input is good input, but one person's opinion does not define you.

The classic format for feedback is "When you (specific example of action) it makes me feel (how you feel). In the future, (alternative action)." This is dirt simple, but it works! The format forces you to think of both an example of the behavior and solution, and will signal to the recipient that feedback is coming.