The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - in which Mongoose returns to genre fiction

It has been years since I have read any genre fiction: crime, action, Star Wars (I was once a teen, too), fantasy, etc. This was a conscious choice, so I didn't expect much from Stieg Larsson's famous crime novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. But it came heavily recommended by my mom and a good friend, so I picked it up. And didn't put it down except to sleep and go to work for the next three days. It is truly riveting. This weekend, I bought the second in the trilogy, The Girl Who Played with Fire, and similarly finished it within 48 hours. If you have ever enjoyed a mystery novel, you have got to read these. I would go buy the third and final book (The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest), but it's only available in hardcover, and I have shit to do this week.

The trilogy, an "international publishing sensation," comes with its own dramatic backstory. Larsson died of a massive heart attack at age 50 in 2004 before the sales of the first book really took off - without a valid will. He had never married his partner of more than three decades, Eva Gabrielsson, and according to Swedish law his property went to his father and brother after his death, including rights to his three novels. Gabrielsson allegedly has the partial manuscript of fourth on her laptop. The court battles continue to rage.

Sexy rape: What Ayn Rand, Michael Winterbottom, and Ang Lee have in common

Atlas Shrugged is at long last being made into a movie, on the cheap and with a largely unknown cast.  As someone who was a big fan of, shall we say, large portions of the book (there are certain parts I think strongly reflect arrogance on Rand's part, and reflect a morality I'm uncomfortable with) in my teen years, I can't help being disappointed that an adaptation once rumored to be starring Angelina Jolie is being set up for mediocrity.  Any fan of Rand knows that mediocrity is the ultimate sin.

But what is the ultimate virtue in her world?  I would say "excellence," but Amanda Hess points out that it's an excellence tinged with an ugly sort of male dominance, one that translated into both Rand's personal life and her works of fiction.  Two pivotal scenes in Ayn Rand's most famous works of fiction revolve around the "sexy rape" of the lead female characters.  In The Fountainhead, it's Howard Roarke's rape of Dominique, with whom the sexual chemistry is so sizzling, he needs to break into her home and take her by force.  From Amanda Hess's transcription:

She tried to tear herself away from him. The effort broke against his arms that had not felt it. Her fists beat against his shoulders, against his face. He moved one hand, took her two wrists and pinned them behind her, under his arm, wrenching her shoulder blades.…She fell back against the dressing table, she stood crouching, her hands clasping the edge behind her, her eyes wide, colorless, shapeless in terror. He was laughing. There was the movement of laughter on his face, but no sound.…Then he approached. He lifted her without effort. She let her teeth sink into his hand and felt blood on the tip of her tongue. He pulled her head back and he forced her mouth open against his.

Of this scene, Rand has said "if it was rape, it was rape by engraved invitation," presumably because Dominique had flirted with Roarke beforehand.  A lot.  Rand also wrote in her letters,

Feminist classic on women's household burden: Hochschild's "The Second Shift"

I picked up Arlie Hochschild's The Second Shift this past week on vacation, a book I'd been meaning to read because it was "a classic" but which I also dreaded would be a dry screed on hopeless inequities that didn't really affect me. But I kept picking it up, in every bit of downtime I had, and now I can't stop talking about it with everyone I know. (Unlike The Quants, which I have to finish for my work bookclub next week but can't get into - is that because it's a Man Book?)

Hochschild, a professor at UC Berkeley, first published this book in 1989, after extensive fieldwork interviewing and observing two-career couples in the greater Bay area. She compiled case studies of exemplar families, detailing the breakdown of childcare and housework as well as the relations between the two. Hochschild also documented the participant's family background, feelings and ideology regarding gender roles, and opinions about how work was being divided (which often conflicted with her observations). Her conclusion was that in the vast majority (~80%) of households, women carried a disproportionate share of the load, in essence working a "second shift" after they got home from work. The case studies are presented objectively, but are nevertheless incendiary, both for the story they tell and the clarity they draw to unfair breakdowns of household labor many readers have seen or experienced personally.

An Immortal Story: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

“Doctors took her cells without asking. Those cells never died. They launched a medical revolution and a multimillion-dollar industry. More than twenty years later, her children found out. Their lives would never be the same.” –Rebecca Skloot, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is one of the most intriguing, informative, and heartfelt nonfiction books I have read in a long time. From the first line on the cover (above) to the final sentence on the last page, my whole being was attuned to the incredible—and sometimes tragic—story of the origin and reach of HeLa cells. Not having been a science-focused student, I was not immediately familiar with what HeLa cells were—and how integral a part of medicine they still are.

Rebecca Skloot accessibly and lyrically details the history of HeLa cells--and the woman behind them--in her book. Briefly, the first immortal (self-regenerating) human cells to ever survive in a petri/culture dish were taken from the body of an African-American woman named Henrietta Lacks in Baltimore, Maryland in the 1950s at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

Harding & Kirby: Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere

Here at femonomics we're big fans of Shapely Prose, Kate Harding's fat acceptance blog. So, when I saw her book Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body on sale at Borders for $3.99 (sorry Kate), I had to pick it up. The book proved to be just as witty and readable as all of her and co-author Marianne Kirby's work.

The book has a lot of great things to say, that are helpful for anyone who thinks negatively about their body (not just fat people, or even women - unfortunately most people seem to suffer from this). As a relatively thin person, I don't feel fully qualified to critique the book, but it did really get me thinking. I had plenty of ah-ha! moments while reading, as well as some discomfort in having old prejudices and patterns of thinking challenged.

The main point is for (fat) people to stop worrying about what they weigh or how they look, and to be happy, along with specific mind-steps to get there. The most poignant essay in the book regards the fantasy of being thin, wherein people postpone living until they lose weight. Don't do that!

One minor criticism I have is the notion the book promotes, however, that the amount of calories consumed is unrelated to weight. I will admit that the relationship between food and weight is quite complicated, but am pretty sure there is at least a correlation. However, the book's argument that dieting is unhealthy is compelling, to the point that you really should talk to your doctor before embarking on any such course. Overall, the book is a pretty quick read and mind-expanding, and I recommend it.

Kelly Cutrone: Bringing the Power of the “Ancient Feminine” Back

I just finished reading Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside and Other Things Your Mother Never Told You and was pleasantly surprised by how inspiring and motivating her coming of age and rise to power story is. Expecting this to be the wanna-be PR girl’s handbook, I was also surprised by how universal her message is. Kelly Cutrone is the founder of fashion public relations, branding and marketing company People’s Revolution. You may have seen her using her tongue as a lethal weapon doling out brutal truths to employees and clients and pulling rank on a number of sobbing interns on shows like The Hills, The City or her new Bravo series Kell on Earth. Cutrone is the leader of the New York PR power-girl pack and serves as “Mama Wolf” over all twenty-something fashion girls who dream of one day rubbing elbows backstage with the likes of Jeremy Scott or Vivienne Westwood. If You Have to Cry…is her no-bullshit how-to guide to making it in New York’s crushing and soul-stealing fashion publicity world. I’m not a fashionista, nor am I looking for a New York Fashion Week internship. I’m just a health policy consultant with a reality-TV addiction who has found Cutrone interesting since first seeing her mentor Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad on The Hills. I wanted a little insight into her and her industry. I also thought “this woman is completely balls-out crazy on TV—she must have an interesting story to tell and I sure need some entertainment on this long-ass bus ride I’m about to take!” Six hours and 197 pages later I had laughed, cried, furiously scribbled notes in the margins, and had recalculated an old resolve.

Femonomics reads: Gail Evans' "Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman"

I recently picked up Gail Evans' 2000 business playbook for girls, Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman: What Men Know About Success that Women Need to Learn. Unlike many business books, it is actually a quick read, so major props to Evans for that. Too many business reads are 250-page books that should have been a 10-page essay.

Evans has had a very successful career, having served as EVP at CNN, taught B-school classes at Emory, and written a New York Times bestseller. Although retired, she still offers speaking engagements, and has been booked by such multinationals as Coca-Cola, JPMorgan Chase, Microsoft, and Johnson & Johnson. She has a lot to offer any career woman (or man), and much of her advice in the book is solid.

So, the book is a good read, especially for those that have serious inter-personal issues at work, but like most such books, it should be taken with a grain of salt. The hook for this book is not Evans' qualifications, but rather the gendered nature of her advice, and it's not all good.

Forget settling, Lori Gottlieb's fat shaming is horrendous, sickening

If you read the comments in duchess's Lori Gottlieb counterpoint, you're no doubt aware that the author of the newest self help fad is no stranger to penning controversial work, including an essay titled "Fat Like Him," which purports to be about the experience of dating someone that fails the "checklist," but is really about Gottlieb's fat phobia, narcissism, bigotry, and neurosis.

Yes, the writing is witty, and she taps into some real features of human relationships, but hearing her describe a real person the way she describes her ex "Tim" just makes me sick to my stomach (and not because he's fat, which is the source of her nausea).  Moreover, her treatment of him is patently abusive (refusing to introduce him to her friends, not wanting to be seen touching him in public, constantly criticizing his weight and what he eats).  You can hear Tim's own take on the situation, and Gottlieb's mental state, over at Jezebel.

Gottlieb is a former anorexic, and it seems clear in her essay that she still exhibits the psychological symptoms of the disorder, if not the physical ones.  She is disgusted by fat, by fat people, by what type of person someone must be to get fat.  The essay is one big exercise in fat shaming and bigotry, playing up every stereotype and misconception about obesity, from fat people smell bad to they snore to they can't be good writers.  On top of this, Gottlieb takes every chance she can to describe herself as "tiny," "100 pounds," or 1/3 of Tim's weight, in case we didn't understand how skinny she is, and how therefore morally superior.

If you are considering taking anything Gottlieb has to say about relationships seriously, I encourage you to go skim her essay.  Don't put yourself through the same punishment I did and read the whole thing, but just read enough to get a taste of the ugliness.  Then, look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am a beautiful, amazing woman who is perfectly capable of making my own decisions about relationships and does not need the advice of someone as hateful, glib, and distinctly unqualified as Lori Gottlieb."

After reading the essay, I had the same reaction Tim (eventually) had to her insanity--I went to the kitchen and found something to eat.  Something to prove my ability to put my physical appearance in appropriate balance with other things I enjoy, to celebrate food as a life source and pleasure rather than a fidelity test, to show Gottlieb that putting butter (of all things!) on your bread does not make you a deviant.  Something delicious.

Counterpoint: All the Single Ladies--Why Settle At All?

[This blog entry is counterpoint to the well-stated opinions of Ms. Pearls N The Hood, found here.]

I’ll admit it—if Ms. Lori Gottlieb is one of Pearls’ heroes, on first reading of her article (found in The Atlantic, March 2008), had me casting her as one of my villains. I thought the notion of “settling” for a man was awful—an anti-feminist, misogynistic, backwards view of womanhood, marriage, and family. For someone who shares this viewpoint and wrote about it eloquently (if in strong words and phrases), see Jessica’s take at Feministing.

But when I took a step back and saw past the red haze clouding my vision, I took a deep breath and thought for a minute. Did I agree with Lori Gottlieb? No, absolutely not. But I don’t have a lot of rage anymore either. After all, we all know that the world is often a tough place and, for someone who desperately longs for a traditional home and family and doesn’t have one by the time they’re 40, settling might seem like a valid, even wonderful, option. As she says in a defense of her argument published in the Huffington Post, at least 1,000 women emailed her in response to her article and were “solidly in my little world,” where settling is a valid option. Obviously, Ms. Gottlieb isn’t alone in thinking like she does.

Point: All the Single Ladies (of a certain age)—Time to Settle Up!

[We'll be doing this point-counterpoint style, so check back for another perspective soon!]

I’m gonna say it—Lori Gottlieb is a new member of my personal heroes club. You may have heard of her “controversial” book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Now, I have not read the book…yet, but I recently enjoyed this excerpt printed in the Atlantic in March ’08. And I have to say that I agree 100% with her observations and personal recommendations to single women, especially those over age 30, to forgo the fireworks and “settle” for the good family man that you get along with so as not to have to go it alone.

Just a brief on Lori Gottlieb—she is an award-winning, best-selling author and single 40-something who is raising her son alone because once she hit that certain age, she decided she no longer wanted to wait for The One to come along to start a family the traditional way (tick, tock, biological clock), but would dive in and do it alone (with the help of donor sperm) and plug Mr. Right into the equation further down the road.

What is dry sex, and why do you need to know about it?

Two events occurred this summer that introduced me to one of the few kinky sexual practices I'd rather not hear about.  First, I spent three months in Zambia, one of the countries where dry sex is regularly practiced.  Second, I read Elizabeth Pisani's incredible book on AIDS and the AIDS industry, The Wisdom of Whores.  Because some of the language in this post is necessarily graphic, and because the content here makes me feel somewhat ill and you might be eating lunch while reading, click through if you would like to learn more.